Now that election season is over, I wanted to talk about the politics of you. This newsletter theme came to me after a friend remarked, “it’s like you are your own country.” I know she meant it as a compliment to my self-sufficiency, my dynamism, and the somewhat unorthodox rules I make for myself. Regardless of her intent, I believe it can be quite helpful to think about yourself as your own country, particularly as our country’s partisan winds shift back and forth. And as the old adage goes, the only thing you can control is you.
A great way to get to you, especially if you haven’t had the benefit of great childhood mentors, is to find out what you value. There are a bevy of books out there to help you clarify what moves you on this spinning planet and two of my recent faves are Getting to Zero by Jayson Gaddis and Emotional Agility by Susan David. The former really just has you drill down on what matters most to you, while the latter talks about the interplay of your emotions and your values. Read together, there is no way you can emerge without knowing more about what you deem important and what happens inside of you as you navigate that claim.
Without showing too much skin, my values are a commitment to aesthetics, getting fresh air, attunement to my children, reading and writing, enjoying podcasts and film, connecting with loved ones, cooking nourishing meals, and managing my money.
To make sure I don’t go too off-piste with what I say I value, I have created a weekly worksheet that I fill out to see how I’m doing. The worksheet incorporates both my work and personal life checklists and it all makes a nice one-sheet separated into quadrants that I fasten to a clipboard each Sunday evening to prepare for the week ahead. I know, I know, it’s a bit dorky but it works really well for me.
I talk enough about frugal food fixes on here so let’s spend a bit more time with the money management part. If you’ll notice, no where in my litany of values is there anything about work. I like work. I’ve found work I enjoy and enough people tell me I’m good at it that I believe them. What really moves me, is working in a way that allows me to have time to live my values…that’s the most important balance to strike: how to keep bread on the table and music in my heart.
As a single earner, I needed to make some changes to how I spent money if I wanted to work flex time, invest, and have room for all my other pursuits. This meant refinancing my mortgage to half its usual amount and getting a used car. I’ve said time and time again, the biggest expenditures are housing, transportation, and food. Wrangle these top three and your world becomes much more manageable.
As you wind down the year and begin to take stock of how you’ve lived, it’s great to do it through the lens of your values. I can only hope two of your values include nourishing your tummy and your wallet. Values outlast any fad or aggressive New Year’s resolution. They are the way. At least that’s what we believe here in Stockedland.*
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*Not an actual place.
What I’ve been up to:
Cooking: Rancho Gordo Beans; Red Miso Dressing; French Fries
Reading: Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow; David Whyte
Watching: Fleischman is In Trouble and The Patient
Thinking about: The Narcissism of Small Differences; Black Box
Travel: Montreal; Phoenix; Tulum